4am

   i went home that night from the city, confused and disappointed. i feel so down that i walked from the bus terminal to our subdivision, a good 7 minute tricycle + jeepney ride. i was texting a friend, the whole time i'm walking, and been thinking  in my head over and over the details of what happened.

   

   so when i got home i had a small bottle of wine and ate 3 pcs of happy-milky-candy (yema hehe) but it didn't make me feel any better. although i think it kinda did haha, but my head can't stop thinking of what happened that night, so i guess it didn't quite do the trick.

   anyway, i got red (as usual) and hungry and still not sleepy.i decided to have a shower and went on to look somewhere to eat around 4am, alone. in times like these, i tend to wander alone, walking. it gives me a sense of clarity. so when i feel really really really reslly bad, i do walk to wherever. it is, somehow, therapeutic.

   i ended up eating near the bus terminal i went off hours before.